


'An apple a day keeps the doctor away'

by saratza



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Apples, Frank's a doctor, Gerard really hates hospitals, Gerard thinks that throwing apples is a good idea, It is not, M/M, idk it's a funny one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 19:05:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7234855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saratza/pseuds/saratza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard Way hates going to the hospital, especially to the urologist , but this time, he has a plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'An apple a day keeps the doctor away'

Gerard hated going to the doctor's. Never mind that he was a 22 year old, he still had his mother call to make the appointments. Even then, before letting her call in, there was always a big fight, which usually ended in Gerard being pinned down by his brother while his mother talked to the nurse. 

This time it was no different. He entered the clinic with his head bowed down, shuffling his feet on the spotless floor like a grouchy teenager. He knew there was no use in trying to run away, the nurses all remembered when that happened last time, so now, every time Donna Way called, they made sure to add some extra security to catch Gerard if (when) he tried to get past the entrance doors. 

Aware of how closely supervised he would be, Gerard decided to take a different route that day. An old ritual few knew about, archaic but effective, from what his extensive Google search revealed. 

He entered the urologic cabinet slowly, as if preparing for battle. The doctor, a short tattooed man who you'd rather espect to see in a venue, in punk clothes, rather than in the hospital, with the peaceful-looking scrubs on, smiled at him.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Iero, but you can just call me Frank. And you are..." he paused, lookind down at the clipboard he had "Mr.Gerard Way. Nice to meet you", he said, still smiling, as if he couldn't wait to touch and prod at Gerard's balls while asking uncomfortable questions. What he didn't know was that he'd never get that far, for Gerard's masterplan would spare him of any unwanted ball-touching. He found himself thinking that maybe he wouldn't mind being touched by the cute young doctor that much, but he quickly pulled himself together, reminding whatever wayward hormones made him even consider the alternative, that this was a question of principles and dignity (two things he liked to think he had). 

After a short nod from him, dr. Iero began asking him the famous 'Are you sexually active?' 'Do you come in contact with many partners?' cringe-worthy questions. While answering them, Gerard couldn't keep still, bouncing his leg in the rhythm of some rock song he couldn't remember the name of; he could feel the powers of darkness raising inside him, steeling him and the object of his curse. 

"Okay, now I'm gonna need you to take your pants off so we can get to the physical examination." Frank's words roused him from his plotting thoughts. It was now or never, he decided. He slowly unbuckled his bat belt and let his jeans slide a bit down his thighs, the movement natural and careless, leading dr. Iero to think that all the nurses he talked to had exaggerated greatly. He was still thinking of that when everything happened at once. Gerard's quick hands found their way into a pocket he had sewn on the inside of the pant's crotch area, and pulled out the shiny talisman, proceeding to throw it at Frank. Luckly, Frank caught it. With his forehead. Seeing his precious hit bull's eye, Gerard screeched "An apple a day keeps the doctor away!" before making the vulcan sign and taking off in the direction of the doors, continuing to screech. 

Unfortunately for him, the burly guard tackled him to the ground, effectively ruining his chance at escaping.

Like his mother said, he was very damn lucky that dr. Iero, having worked past the initial shock of having an apple thrown at him, decided to laugh instead of press charges. Now, Gerard was sitting on his bed, looking at the piece of paper the cute doctor had slithered into his back pocket when no one was looking:  
'It may be because of a possible concussion, but I think you're awesome, so here's my number:  
xxx-xxx-xxx  
-xox frnk  
P.s.: we never did get to finish that examination ;)'


End file.
